Ho, Ho, Ho; I Am Santa Claws!

Santa Claws

Okay, time for the annual OIB gift-giving season with plenty of stocking-stuffed sarcasm. What, ya think Santa wouldn’t arrive in time to adorn our favorite pols? Not like the city’s toothless tiger Ethics Commission would do anything about OIB’s gratuities to public officials … speaking of that …

For the Bridgeport Ethics Commission that sanctioned hundreds of dollars of free tickets, food and drink for City Council members loading up at the annual Gathering of the Vibes hippie fest salute to the Grateful Dead, a testicle transplant from former Governor Lowell Weicker.

For City Council members, 8-Track tapes of the Grateful Dead.

For Governor Jodi Rell, a Christmas Eve visit from the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future for her six-year bag of coal for the state’s largest city.

For Governor-elect Dan Malloy, a blood transfusion from Santa with Bridgeport’s serum type. (“Type O we need more money!”)

For Secretary of the State Susan Bysiewicz, proof that she actually attended law school.

For Mayor Bill Finch, a $40 million bag of poop from Trumbull and Monroe, the amount he’ll need from a regional sewage treatment authority to balance his budget.

For criminal defense attorney Mickey Sherman who received a year in the joint for skipping taxes, better advice for his clients.

For the Bridgeport Board of Education, a meeting without a fight.

For Democratic Registrar of Voters Sandi Ayala who didn’t print enough Election Day ballots, a high-speed printer.

For State Rep. Chris Caruso, shock treatment if he ever again uses the C word (Corruption).

For Bridgeport-born former GOP Congressional candidate Dan Debicella, a map of his native city he ignored during his campaign.

For community gadfly Cecil Young, a City Council speech that doesn’t lead to a bench-clearing brawl.

For City Councilwoman Evette Brantley, restraint when Cecil criticizes her.

For OIB readers Yahooy and Anna, gift certificates to rooms at the Mayflower Motel, but not with each other.

For Democratic Town Chair Mario Testa, lifetime therapy to overcome his paranoia of Stamford pols.

For Republican Town Chair Marc Delmonico, a GOP registration as large as Greenwich.

For Chris Dodd, forgiveness for doing nothing for the state’s largest city.

For Joe Lieberman, the good sense to do more for Bridgeport than Dodd.

For Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, dropped naked in Bridgeport Harbor smothered in bunker guts during a bluefish feeding frenzy.

For OIB readers, peace, love, joy, health and OIB as their screensaver.



  1. For José Feliciano who boarded my train car in Westport yesterday and played Feliz Navidad (and flashes of c’mon baby, light my fire) all the way to Grand Central Station, a hearty and happy–you guessed it–Feliz Navidad from everyone who heard your impromptu concert en route to NYC.

  2. For John Stafstrom, a handshake from Governor-elect Malloy in appreciation for his work on election night 2010. Certain precincts in Bridgeport were in chaos but Stafstrom did the right thing without being told. The clock was ticking; the situation was unprecedented and without knowing it, the governorship was on the line. You can’t teach what he did and it remains the untold story of the most recent campaign cycle.

  3. For Bill Finch–a brain
    For Andy Nunn–a heart
    For Tom McCarthy–the nerve
    For Adam Wood–Ruby slippers to take him back to Rocky Hill and a broom to ride on.
    For John S. and Dennis–a little dog named Toto.
    For Bridgeport–a yellow brick road to lead developers and investors to its shores.

    For Lennie a bigger Oyster Fork for digging out juicy pearls.

  4. For city council a conscious, do unto your fellow citizens as you would like done to yourselves and give up your stipend for New Year’s resolution everyone talks givebacks most of you give nothing back work for free just for the love of BRIDGEPORT.

    1. For the City of Bridgeport, a new generation of leaders … people motivated to serve without self-interest, and who have the talent, experience, sound judgment and character to bring positive change to the way the city is run.

      For Bridgeport voters, the intelligence, common sense and boldness … to vote for the person, not just the party, electing people who can turn Bridgeport’s long-dormant potential into a prosperous reality.

      1. Hubler … in case you haven’t noticed, that new generation of leader who will serve without political agenda, who has talent, experience, courage and honor … is you!

        1. Sounds like the yahooy committee of one has nominated you, Bruce. Unaccustomed as you are to speaking, at least about this particular subject perhaps at this particular time, how would four years of very specific public service to this City, the City of your birth, education, family raising, etc. work into your lifetime goals? And what if you said you would only serve four years, seeking to improve governance with more people in the ring, learning by doing, in an open, accountable and transparent process, what a gift to future generations you would make! If you don’t want to do it alone, check out the others who may be considering throwing their hats in the ring … from all parts of town and persuasions. Perhaps a division of responsibility might be respectfully suggested and the courage, talent, experience, and yes, money necessary to run could be raised as a coalition to change, once and for all, this City’s self opinion. If it worked, it would certainly put the community in an upward trajectory and encourage other younger, able and courageous candidates to appear. What do you think, Bruce? Your gift to your City? The right time …

  5. *** Spirit of Xmas is alive but not well in general; what will the New Year bring? Time will tell but is mankind running out of time on earth? Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, no? *** Bless us all, everyone! ***

  6. For B Finch–A job he really wants–if only Lamont won eh, clean and greener Hartford

    For C Caruso–a salad–un-man-crushed Lennie–a top notch cardiologist in case he runs, in his case waddles–for mayor.

    For J Gomes–a winning powerball ticket–a rich uncle (eh Len Bias?)–a new pair o’ kicks as he’s been seen walking every street on the East Side lately shakin’ hands.

    For A Wood–Nothin’–Nothin’–okay–COAL

    For S Ayala–a calculator–a clue–truth serum, who made ya do it?

    For MJ Foster–a reality check–a new biographer

    For OIB–truth, justice and a UN-LEN BIAS


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