It’s Groundhog Day! Worship A Rat–Beardsley Bart Proves Phil A Liar

Groundhog day, the pigskin season ends Sunday, pitchers and catchers report in two weeks. It can only mean one thing: worship the rat. Spring’s on the horizon. We don’t care about that rodent punk in Pennsylvania. We’re waiting on Beardsley Bart. Prairie dogging, anyone? And now we know what to expect the next six weeks beyond political turd fights.

Beardsley Bart
Beardsley Bart

“Beardsley Bart is a very early riser and when he came out this morning, he confirmed that he did not see his shadow,” explained Zoo Director Gregg Dancho. “He’s happy to report spring is just around the corner and he looks forward to all his friends coming to visit him soon.”

Share

6 comments

  1. What the fuck are you talking about Lennie?
    Groundhog, (Marmota monax), also called woodchuck, one of 14 species of marmots (Marmota), considered basically a giant North American ground squirrel. It is sometimes destructive to gardens and pasturelands. Classified as a marmot, the groundhog is a member of the squirrel family, Sciuridae, within the order Rodentia.

Leave a Reply