Okay class, give me a show of hands. No, better yet, puke up some names.
If you could choose anyone on the planet to bond with via handcuffs whom would you pick? The woman who was arraigned in Bridgeport Superior Court for her novel approach to reconciliation–handcuffing her husband to herself while he was sleeping and then tormenting him–has me wondering about what city pols long for a cuffmate.
Can you imagine former Democratic Town Chairman John Stafstrom cuffing current party leader Mario Testa in the restaurateur’s meat freezer? I can hear Mario now, “Grimaldi, I’d rather pound veal.” Mario, of course, is an expert at pounding veal, and has a perpetually bloody apron to prove it. Just don’t be around him when he has cleaver in hand.
Let’s see now, former City Council President Lisa Parziale slaps the cuffs on current council prez Tom McCarthy:
“Honey, I want my gavel back or I’ll turn you into gravel.”
“Lisa, when you address me, please make it Sir Loin.” Big Mac’s daddy is a butcher at the Stop & Shop on Madison Avenue. Remember that scene from Hannibal when Agent Starling cuffs him to the refrigerator? “Where’s the key?” Here comes big daddy’s hatchet. Oops.
Oh my goodness, can you imagine State Rep. Auden Grogins handcuffed to the dude she defeated Bob Keeley? I can hear Auden screaming for her dog Harold to bite through the links. “Now finish the job Harold.”
And what about Mayor Bill Finch cuffed to State Rep. Chris Caruso? That would be fun if only to test the strength of a new Congress Street Bridge. They splash into the Pequonnock, dredging up all those absentee ballots Caruso claims cost him the election. A recount is done to learn Finch still wins by one vote. An examination of check-off sheets reveals Caruso never actually voted in the primary. He was too busy yelling corruption.
Okay, let me hear your cuff couple. Yahooy and Anna cuffed at Liberty Rock? Egad.
By the way, what’s your take on the city paying out $250K to a guy who was falsely arrested for robbery by city police and jailed for six months? Maybe next time the cops will check the surveillance tape at the gas station. Seems logical, right? Check the surveillance tape. Duh. The city settled the case to avoid a bigger payout at a civil trial.
What’s your take on a state legislative proposal to decriminalize possession of small amounts of pot to save law enforcement, court and prison costs? That standing ovation you just heard came from Cougar Rodgerson. Cougie wants the board of ed slot. I can see it now, first order of business from School Board President Cougie–a bong in every school bathroom. Cheech and Chong as guidance counselors.
Party Time In The City
Fun stuff in the city this week, led by SportsFest. Lots of ice block heads from Yale, Air Force, Michigan and Vermont will fill the Arena at Harbor Yard for the regional NCAA hockey championship. A bunch of downtown restaurants offering specials. Also, check out the new art exhibit Thursday from 5:30 to 8 p.m. at City Lights Gallery, 37 Markle Court, with a wine tasting hosted by Épernay from 6 to 7 p.m. I’ll be there during that hour, of course!
News release from CT U.S. Attorney
SIKORSKY PAYS $2,941,000 TO SETTLE ALLEGATIONS UNDER THE FALSE CLAIMS ACT
The United States Attorney’s Office for the District of Connecticut today announced that SIKORSKY AIRCRAFT COMPANY, of Stratford, Connecticut, which manufactures helicopters for all branches of the United States military and is a division of United Technologies Corporation, has entered into a civil settlement agreement in which it will pay $2,941,000 to resolve allegations that it violated the False Claims Act arising from the failure to ballistically test armor plated inserts for Black Hawk helicopters manufactured for the U.S. Army.
The armor plated inserts, which were manufactured for SIKORSKY by a subcontractor, are installed as original equipment on Black Hawk helicopters. Black Hawks are manufactured for the U.S. Army and for other nations, and Black Hawk-derivative aircraft are manufactured for the United States Navy, Air Force and Marines. The investigation revealed that from 1992 until 2006, the ballistic panels, which are installed both to the left of the pilot and to the right of the co-pilot on Black Hawk helicopters, were not tested to ensure that they had been manufactured according to government requirements.
“It is critically important that manufacturers perform all required testing of parts for equipment being used by our military personnel,” stated John B. Hughes, Chief of the Civil Division for the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Connecticut. “The U.S. Attorney’s Office takes these matters very seriously and we will do all that we can to ensure the safety of the men and women in the military.”
“This settlement sends a message that fraud, especially when it concerns the safety of our men and women in uniform, cannot and will not be tolerated in Government contracts,” said Michael F. Hertz, Acting Assistant Attorney General for the Department of Justice’s Civil Division. “As demonstrated here, the Department, including the United States Attorneys’ offices, and investigative agencies such as the ones here, are committed to rooting out such fraud and prosecuting it.”
The Government knows of no injuries resulting from the untested plates.
In the agreement SIKORSKY specifically denied the government’s allegations and asserted that it had numerous defenses to any liability.
The investigation was conducted by the Defense Criminal Investigative Service, Army Criminal Investigative Division, Defense Contract Audit Agency, and Defense Contract Management Agency. The matter was prosecuted by Assistant U.S. Attorney Alan M. Soloway.
MCAT’s New Gig
OIB friend Michele Mount (MCAT), an attorney, has been appointed by House Speaker Chris Donovan to the State Law Revision Commission. The body works with the Connecticut Legislature and National Law Commission to review the constitutionality of law, revise current law and make suggestions for new laws. Here’s your chance to tell MCAT about all those screwy laws you hate. See a full description of the commission’s duties below:
The commission shall be composed of the president pro tempore of the Senate, the minority leader of the Senate, the speaker of the House of Representatives and the minority leader of the House of Representatives, or their designees, the cochairpersons and ranking members of the joint standing committee on judiciary or their designees chosen from among the members of the committee, and nine members appointed as follows: The president pro tempore shall appoint two members and the speaker of the House shall appoint two members; and the Governor shall appoint five members, three of whom shall be members of the bar of this state, one of whom shall be a judge of the Superior or Supreme Court of the state, and one of whom may or may not be a member of the bar of this state but shall be a member of a law faculty of an accredited law school within the state. The commission shall elect one of its members to serve as chairman. The Duties of the Commission are as follows:
(1) Receive, consider and prepare comments and recommendations on proposed changes in the law recommended by the American Law Institute, the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws, bar associations, judges, lawyers, public officials, or other learned bodies or qualified individuals;
(2) Recommend, from time to time, such changes in the law as it deems necessary to modify or eliminate antiquated and inequitable rules of law, and to bring the law of this state, civil and criminal, into harmony with modern conditions;
(3) Recommend the express repeal of all statutes repealed by implication or held unconstitutional by the Supreme Court of the state or the Supreme Court of the United States;
(4) Assist the joint standing committee on judiciary and other commissions and groups appointed by the Governor or General Assembly to study law within the state;
(5) Educate the public as to the need for law revision through public hearings, giving the public an opportunity to be heard;
(6) Organize and conduct meetings within the state for scholarly discussion of current problems in state law, bringing together representatives of the legislature, practicing attorneys, members of the bench and bar, and representatives of the law teaching profession;
(7) Submit an annual report to the General Assembly. The report shall include proposed legislative drafts, a description of the research and projects initiated, pending, or completed during the preceding year with recommendations and comments, and an itemized list of expenditures made by the commission during the preceding year. The commission may also whenever it considers it appropriate submit other recommendations and legislative proposals to the General Assembly and its committees.