My former boss Donald Trump spoke glowingly the other day about the golf boys in the locker room shower marveling at the size of Arnold Palmer’s driving stick.
Proudly thumping his manhood mantra, Trump weaved a crowd in Palmer’s Pennsylvania home town: “When he took the showers with other pros, they came out of there. They said, ‘Oh my God. That’s unbelievable.’”
Arnold Palmer’s daughter, Peg Palmer Wears, described Trump’s comments about her late father “disrespectful,” “inappropriate,” and “unacceptable.”
At times like these size perspective matters.
I can prove conclusively that my driver head is much larger than Arnold Palmer’s. It’s called manufacturing technology. My larger head is gifted with titanium while Arnie’s clearly has more wood. My putter head is also larger than Arnie’s but not nearly as effective which proves bigger isn’t always better.
What I do lack, however, is his every-person, herky-jerky helicopter swing, knock-kneed, pigeon-toed, popping-putter stroke and charisma that elevated him the “king” of golf.
When Palmer came on the scene in the late 1950s, golf was largely an aristocracy-driven, country-club conclave. The way he played and conducted himself ignited a common-person interest in the game surpassed only by Tiger Woods who attracted masses to the game. Palmer and Woods altered golf’s demographics.
We’re seeing a Trump-led demographic shift in national politics with buy-in from some who embrace demagoguery over diplomacy, particularly insecure non-college-educated Whites, his base support, who lean on his persona for something better than they have, real of imagined: financially insecure, socially insecure, professionally insecure, educationally insecure. Doesn’t matter what he says or what he does they won’t move off the brain wash. Much easier to exploit this insecure demographic than a degree in golf course management.
What about the outlier college-educated folks that support Trump? Well, some will overlook a lot if they rationalize he put extra loot in their pockets or the opponent is demonized into the spawn of Satan.
The golf Trump analogies, his favorite past time beyond public fascination of genitalia, is not new. Rick Reilly’s book Commander In Cheat is a hilarious romp that shares “How Golf Explains Trump.”
Trump knights himself the greatest club champion of all time. Every time he opens a golf course, he’s the first to play it. If he plays it first, by himself, there’s only one outcome – him, club champion, a shiny plaque to commemorate the multiple moments.
We’re hearing lately of Trump’s off-scripted rants as “relatable, authentic” to his base. Problem is there’s no correlation between authenticity and effectiveness as president. Yes, watch, as the world burns, Trump, Putin and Kim Jong Um share big-dick envy.
In addition, strategically, Trump already has those who admire his impudence. He’s preaching to the choir and drowns out an economic message he’ll need to close the deal against Kamala Harris battling at small undecided margins including a wide female gender gap backing Harris.
Trump further added to the “authenticity” by referring to Harris as “shit.” Maybe he was there to examine her stool, or was at the dinner table “eating the dogs and cats” or perhaps has a yard stick out in the locker room shower.
The ultimate yard stick will be pulled out in two weeks that will likely take days to learn the winner of Trump and Harris. Trump may pull this thing out. If he doesn’t exit polling will show how undecided voters broke and why.
And the bigger problem for Trump – four pending criminal cases including sentencing for the Stormy Daniels election-interference conviction. If he wins the presidency all those cases will likely go away and/or certainly dragged out many years.
If he loses, he’ll have plenty of genitalia to compare in the shower-stall prison.
Unfortunately for DJT, his putter is inadequate, and his game is not on par with Kamala. He’ll be showering alone on November 6 and thereafter — at least until he heads to Rikers Island after November 20…
Back in the 50’s when I was beginning, then finishing my teenage years, one form of work I attemtped was to serve as a caddy at the local NHCountry Club. No one in my family played the game, and no one I knew at the time had a membership, so I walked over, observed and listened and soon the Caddy Master knew that I was a total rookie at the job. He sent me out when he was desperate. I could carry the bag, count numbers on the clubs, could tell metal from wood clubs, and keep track of balls off the fairway.
The pay and tips received as compensation was not significant enough to hang out for long. As soon as I was old enough I sought permanent employment every time I was not in school until I graduated from college in 1964. I began my insurance career on the day after graduation. It was a good choice for me. But although many with a career in insurance sales golf as a sport or change for athletic recreation, I did not find the time required to be worth my while. Today I contribute as a sponsor to golf tournament.
So what is the allure of golf when it comes to Trump’s business reputation? An avenue to tell about what he sees in the locker room? A story to tell about his number of winning performances? An opportunity for him to tell about sizes of this, that, or anything possible as a subject of discussion? Golf is a singular pursuit, with glory to the winner, lots of time and practice to develop expertise and temperament to compete, win, and lead. Where is the evidence that golf is of importance to voters today? Are there any business enterprises left standing, that the man has touched that provide positive, concrete, testimony to DJT’s personal ability to represent American interests going forward? Isn’t it getting late in the day for us to ask this question? Time will tell.
Sounds like some Fore Play! He’s a Jerk and not a Soda Jerk!
Donald Trump said, ” Arnold Palmer was hung like a New Jersey Field Mouse”!
So, this is your pick for the next President of the United States???