Speedy Gonzalez Breaks Down Machines

Former City Councilman Joel “Speedy” Gonzalez always brings provocative perspective to OIB conversations. He filed this report about his primary day activities.

Political Pimps, Whores, Hustlers, and Con Men–Look in the Mirror!

As an avid mechanic, I’ve always been fascinated by the intricate parts and components of machines–mechanical ones. Since the age of 10, I was intrigued by the loud and often violent political campaigns in Puerto Rico. It wasn’t ’til about 25 years ago I heard and took notice the word “machine” was used to describe political party operations.

Mechanical machines are built, tested and financed by people with titles like Engineers, Machine Operators and Designers. Political machines are built, tested and financed by people with titles like Political Scientists, Political Operatives (with subtitles such as Political Pimps, Whores, Hustlers, Con Men) and of course, Political contributors. The political contributors provide the grease in the form of money to keep the political machine running smoothly. The mechanical machine needs grease and oil–which cost money–to keep it running smoothly.

I started Bridgeport Democratic Primary Day of Tuesday September 27, 2011 in Longfellow School at 7am. The most interesting and fascinating parts and components of the Bridgeport Democratic Machine are the political operatives with subtitles such as: Political Pimps, Whores, Hustlers and Con Men. I first met OIB friend Jim Fox in front of the school, he gave me some Mary-Jane Foster handouts and left after a little chit-chat. Wanda Geter pulled up in her car and met up with me on my post. With eyes wide open upon seeing the MJF handouts in my hands, Wanda said “Hi Joel! I thought you were with Finch.” “Where have you been the last three years? Don’t you read the blog or the newspaper? You know I served on the City Council with Bill Finch for five years. I know him better than my brothers,” I said to her. “I don’t know, but anytime I needed something, he was always there for me.” “Like what?” I asked. She avoided the question. “It’s not about “I” or “me.” It’s like Bill Finch increasing the city’s debt obligation to the tune of $200 million in less than three years. When it’s time to pay that bill, are you going to say to Finch “Give it to me, I will pay it.”? No you’re not! It’s about all of us!” Suddenly, she gets religious on me and says “I don’t need Bill Finch or anyone to give me anything. The lord Jesus Christ will provide for me, HALLELUJAH!”

Wanda was also supervising a driver/puller assigned to the Twin Towers. There wasn’t any sign at all of an MJF GOTV operation at Longfellow as of 11:00 a.m. The guy pulling from the Towers had given a ride to a white senior citizen who walked up to me after voting and said “He’s (pointing towards the school parking lot) telling me who to vote for, that’s illegal. As soon as I got in the car he starts to tell me I have to vote for Finch. I vote for who I want to vote for, he can’t do that.” The driver pulled up to the gate and yells to the man “DO YOU WANT A RIDE BACK?” “No, I’m walking to the Supermarket” he responded politely. As he walked to the market he said “He has some nerve, he can’t do that.” Around 11:45am I went home to eat, take my meds (paging yahooy) and contact friends and family to remind them to vote.

By 12:15pm I was on State Street to check out OIB friend Mitch Robles. It was like a scene on 42nd Street in 1982, except they were Political Pimps, Whores, Hustlers and Con Men. I sent a few people days before to apply for and work for me at Mitchell’s expense. No one was going to get paid until the end of the night; First thing they had to do was to go vote for Finch; second thing they had to get friends and family members to go and vote; Roosevelt and Bassick were covered. Most of them did very little. Most of the voters drove to the polls and many of the people they called didn’t want to hear shit about Finch. Who said “There’s a sucker born every minute.”? I can say with certainty, “There are ‘gullorants’ created every time the Political Machine is activated.? Gullorant–a person tricked and transformed simultaneously into a spectrum of gullibility and ignorance. Gullorancy can strike at any time without having any human contact. It can strike you electronically via radio, social network sites, blogs, printed media (especially advertisement and promotional materials) etc. I’m developing a treatment I call Polypsychosis–there is no permanent cure. However, it can be avoided by being consciously aware and vigilant of all potential transmission sources at all times.

Taking a good look in the mirror is the cheapest and most effective self treatment I urgently recommend from all readers of this analysis. As you look in the mirror, ask yourself, “What do I see and feel about the image reflected?”–while mentally reflecting on the many times you have potentially been gullible, ignorant or gullorant. The intentional transmission of gullorancy by Political pimps, whores, hustlers and Con Men, can be avoided by understanding it’s their mission to do this; they aren’t even aware of what they are doing as they themselves are in a state of gullorancy.

I tried the self treatment and I fall in the category of political contributor/donor (donated $500 to MJF without counting the vacations and missed overtime) and free political whore (countless hours of volunteer work for MJF).

In my four years of commenting on OIB I’ve never done a Pol Pod interview or submitted an analysis. Take this one seriously and think of it as my OIB thesis–in part.