Republican Town Chairman John Slater says pigs are animals too and should be included in Mayor Bill Finch’s green initiative just like chickens. Statement from Slater to the mayor.
I wanted to take this time to offer my congratulations on the landmark ordinance you have worked on to ensure the Bridgeport taxpayers can house chickens on their property. It is a responsible ordinance that not only allows for the housing of chickens but outlines the legal standards to do so.
However as the Chairman of the Bridgeport Republican Party I can honestly say, and I apologize, that I had no idea this was so important to the taxpayers of Bridgeport. That’s right, I was wrong Mr. Mayor. I thought the taxpayers were most concerned with ways to lower their property and car taxes, the state of the Bridgeport education system and the quality of services funded by their hard-earned dollars.
So I am happy to announce that the Bridgeport Republican Party would like to spearhead a new ordinance. We would like to propose an ordinance to “Make Pigs Fly.” Pigs are animals too and, if handled properly, I’m sure we could work together to find a way to fit them into your “BGreen2020” initiative.
I understand if you are not available to help as I’m sure you’re currently working on other landmark ordinances. However, if this ordinance is just not something that interests you, our committee would have no problem sticking to the issues that we always thought were most important; lowering taxes, the students of Bridgeport and the quality of our civil services.
You cannot legislate a flying pig, however, you can legislate chicken coops in Bridgeport. Slater’s proposal runs counter to accepted evolutionary guidelines. Don’t be surprised if Charles Darwin takes out a full-page ad proving pigs can’t fly in Bridgeport and then jumping on the political bandwagon long enough to remind voters Slater is on the verge of being placed on the endangered species list.
LE … it’s a spoof. Don’t take it too literally. It makes fun of the chicken issue that seems to pervade this intellectually challenged mayor’s administration.
Republicans are already an endangered species in Bridgeport. Pigs will fly only when one of them gets elected as mayor.
Malloy will jump all over this. More squandered tax money, big contracts for Pratt & Whitney and another piece of foolish legislation with his name in it. He and Blumenthal can jump down to the dispensary, pick up some weed and start writing.
The chicken idea may seem ridiculous, but Slater brings up a good point in that as far as breakfast is concerned, eggs, like Mayoral initiatives, may be soft-boiled, really scrambled or occasionally half-baked but somehow they do go better with ham. So if you are a ham and egger you probably should not forget the noble swine in the ordinance.
Andy Fardy has been blowing out his math abilities with the millions of eggs projected, hasn’t he? But if every egg were taxed $.10 then the City would have more revenue and the Mayor could truly become “egg-stax-it,” couldn’t he? Time will tell.
Nobody is talking about taxing eggs in the “coin of the realm” (hip new term, JML). We’re talking about protein in the belly of Bridgeport residents available only under the strictest of conditions. But just because the RTC is “achin’ for bacon” doesn’t mean each flying pig gets a parachute.
Auerbach doesn’t want to comment on this because it isn’t kosher.
While bacon certainly isn’t kosher, please allow Mr. Auerbach to indulge in a bacon & egg sandwich–minus the cheese, of course, and certainly not around his bubby.
*** IT’S NOT THE HOME OF THE CIRCUS FOR NOTHING, NO? ***
“Bridgeport: Where the circus never left town.”
–Kevin Boyle
or
–Jim Clark
(I heard Boyle first, Lennie heard Clark)